Creating Space for Your Teen’s Emotions

Creating Space for Your Teen’s Emotions Working with teenagers can be both challenging and deeply rewarding. Recently in my clinic, I’ve seen more adolescent clients coming in with concerns including anxiety, depression, friendship or relationship difficulties, school avoidance, and trouble expressing emotions.

Many parents tell me how hard it is to start a conversation with their teenager, let alone encourage open, honest dialogue. They worry about their child bottling things up, feeling disconnected, and withdrawing from school as well as extra-curricular activities.

During my Masters in Counselling and Psychotherapy, I completed a placement as a school counsellor, working with teenagers aged 12–18 from a wide range of backgrounds. I’ll admit, I was initially apprehensive, as most of my work (both in counselling and as a Chinese Medicine Practitioner) had been with adults. But those fears disappeared quickly. I found working with developing minds not only rewarding, but often producing results that were profound and long-lasting.

Here are the key lessons I’ve learned about helping teens express themselves, and how parents can support that process at home.

1. Meet Teenagers Where They Are

Some teenagers are natural talkers. They can name and describe what they feel with ease. Others—especially younger teens or boys—might find it harder. For them, feelings may be unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or even feel threatening.

If your teen struggles to “open up,” it doesn’t mean they’re unwilling—it might just mean they need time or a different approach. The first step is creating a safe, pressure-free environment where they can explore feelings at their own pace.

As a counsellor, I might use drawing, playing cards, emoji charts, or even walking outside instead of sitting face-to-face. These approaches work just as well at home. For parents, sometimes expressive conversations with teens flow better in the car, while cooking, or during a shared activity—rather than sitting down for a “serious talk.”

2. Create a Judgment-Free Zone

Teenagers are incredibly sensitive to judgment—both real and perceived. They’re figuring out who they are, where they belong, and how much independence they can have.

When they share something (even if you disagree or it surprises you), the most important thing you can do is listen without jumping in to fix, correct, or criticise. This helps them trust you with the next thing they want to share.

In counselling, using a person-centred approach initially facilitates building a therapeutic relationship and creating this space—meeting each teen at their comfort level while helping them grow their emotional vocabulary. Parents can do the same by reflecting what they hear (“It sounds like you felt left out at lunch today”) instead of rushing to solutions and problem-solving. Another option is to directly ask whether your teen wants an attentive ear or whether they’d like parental advice when they share their thoughts and feelings.

3. Use Tools That Resonate

Traditional “sit down and talk” doesn’t work for every teenager. That’s why I often use creative or tech-based tools like YouTube clips, podcasts, or even ChatGPT to explain emotions or coping strategies in ways that make sense to them. Other times, I use feelings cards, creative drawing, or other expressive activities to facilitate emotional contact.

At home, this might look like sharing a video you found interesting, sending a meme that opens the door to a topic, or using music and art as conversation starters—anything that helps facilitate dialogue and connection.

4. Normalise the Ups and Downs

Adolescence is a whirlwind—physically, hormonally, cognitively, and emotionally. Mood swings are a normal part of this stage.

Helping your teen see emotions as temporary (and manageable) reduces the shame and fear they might feel when they’re sad, anxious, or angry. Share your own small frustrations and coping strategies. Let them see that it’s normal to have hard days—and that there are healthy ways to move through them.

My role as a counsellor is to equip teens with resilience skills so they need me less over time. Parents can be a huge part of that process by modelling healthy emotional regulation.

5. Celebrate the Small Wins

For some teens, the “win” is simply getting out of bed and showing up—whether that’s for counselling, school, or an activity they’ve been avoiding. For others, it might be rejoining a sports team, making a new friend, or speaking up in class.

Celebrate these moments with positive reinforcement and genuine acknowledgement.

When to Seek Extra Support

If your teen withdraws for long periods, talks about hopelessness, shows sudden changes in mood or behaviour, or stops engaging in things they usually enjoy, it may be time to reach out for professional support. Counselling can provide them with a safe space to explore feelings and develop tools for managing life’s challenges.

If you’re concerned about your teenager’s emotional wellbeing—or just want to give them extra support—I’m here to help. Together, we can create a space for your teen to feel heard, understood, and empowered.

I offer an introductory 15-minute chat to determine if we are a good fit, as well as telehealth, walk-and-talk, or face-to-face therapy for teens. Stephen Psychotherapist Chinese Medicine Practitioner