Navigating the Christmas Season

By Stephen Pate – Chinese Medicine Practitioner/Psychotherapist/Counsellor, Mornington

Christmas is often presented as a time of connection, celebration, and ease. Yet many people experience something quite different: stress, emotional overload, family tension, grief, loneliness, or the pressure to feel a certain way even when their internal world says otherwise.

December is one of the most common times clients reach out for support. The season has a way of stirring up long-standing patterns, amplifying expectations, and pulling us away from our usual routines.

If this time of year feels heavy, here are some grounded reflections and strategies to help you move through the holidays with more steadiness and self-compassion.

1.     Notice Your Internal Narratives Without Getting Pulled Into Them

The lead-up to Christmas often activates familiar inner commentary such as:

• “I should be happier.”

• “Everyone else seems to cope better than I do.”

• “If I say no, I’ll let people down.”

These thoughts can feel true simply because they are loud or familiar, not because they are accurate. A helpful practice is to pause, notice and externalise the thought instead of automatically believing it:

• “I’m having the thought that I need to keep everyone happy.”

• “I’m noticing a worry about disappointing others.”

This small shift creates space between you and the thought, allowing you to respond from clarity rather than pressure.

2.     Allow Your Feelings to Be Present

The holidays can bring a wide mix of emotions — joy, sadness, frustration, grief, exhaustion, or numbness. You don’t need to fight these feelings or force them to match the season.

Often, the more we try to push a feeling away (“I shouldn’t feel like this”), the stronger it becomes. Allowing yourself to experience what’s present, without judging it, can soften the emotional load and reduce a sense of inner conflict.

3.     Reconnect With What Actually Matters to You

It’s easy to get swept up in obligations and expectations. Taking a moment to check in with yourself can bring clarity:

• What genuinely matters to me this year?

• What quality do I want my holiday season to have?

• What would meaningful connection or resting and regenerating look like for me this year?

• What can I let go of without harming my wellbeing?

When you’re clear on what matters, decisions become easier, and the season starts to feel more like something you’re participating in, not something happening to you.

4.     Choose Small, Supportive Actions

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, small actions can anchor you:

• a short walk

• a moment of slow breathing

• stepping outside for fresh air

• prioritising exercise

• leaving an event early

• saying “I’ll think about it” before agreeing to something

• going to bed a bit earlier

• putting your phone aside in the evening

These simple steps help create mental space, ease tension, and support your emotional stability.

5.     Gently Question the Stories That Make the Season Harder

Certain thoughts can amplify holiday stress:

• “The day has to be perfect.”

• “If there’s conflict, everything is ruined.”

• “Everyone is judging me.”

When these arise, pause and ask:

• Is this the only way to see the situation?

• Is this assumption helpful?

• What would I say to a friend who was thinking this way?

This isn’t about forcing positivity, it’s about widening your perspective so you can respond in a way that feels more grounded and balanced.

6.     Honour Grief, Loss, and Change

Holidays often highlight absences including the people we miss, relationships that have shifted or ended, or traditions that no longer feel the same. Grief can show up as sadness, irritability, distance, or tiredness. It doesn’t mean something is wrong; it means something mattered.

You might find it helpful to:

• share a memory with others

• engage a small ritual

• acknowledge the person privately or with others

• create space to feel whatever arises

Grief can manifest in many forms and there’s no right way to grieve, especially at Christmas.

7.     Create Boundaries That Protect Your Energy

Boundaries aren’t about rejecting others, they are about clarity and self-care. You’re allowed to:

• say no

• change plans

• leave gatherings early

• take breaks

• prioritise rest

• create space for yourself

Setting limits can make the season feel more manageable and less draining.

Notice When You Need Support

If Christmas is heightening anxiety, stress, emotional overwhelm, or pressure, talking with a counsellor can create space to breathe, reflect, and reset.

At Peninsula MindCare, we support adults, teenagers, and athletes experiencing stress, anxiety, family dynamics, emotional overload, grief, and burnout. We offer in-person sessions in Mornington, telehealth appointments, and walk-and-talk therapy on the Peninsula. No referral is needed. Christmas doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. You don’t need to feel a certain way or meet every expectation. If the season feels heavy, you’re not alone, and you’re not doing anything wrong.

If you’d like support navigating this time of year, we’re here.

We are working up until December 24^th and we have appointments available — book a session here when you’re ready.